Sunday, October 18, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Spanking 'brings couples together'.
SPANKING is stressful at first, but it could bring consenting couples closer together. That's the implication of two studies of hormonal changes associated with sadomasochistic (S&M) activities including spanking, bondage and flogging.
Can't argue with science.
More here.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Love Coupon
Love Coupon - watch more funny videos
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Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
CORRECTIONS TO LAST MONTH’S LETTERS TO PENTHOUSE FORUM.
In the letter “Laying Late-Night Cable,” it was misstated that “Shelly became immediately aroused at the sight of my rock-hard member straining to be free from my jeans.” In truth, Shelly’s initial demeanor would be best described as visibly uncomfortable and leery. She did not achieve a state of arousal until learning—after several awkward drinks—that performing fellatio would result in a free month of HBO and Starz.
- - - -
In the letter “Three-Way Freeway,” it was implied that “Diana” begged for the opportunity to participate in sexual relations with her roommate and her roommate’s boyfriend after accidentally walking in on their “sweaty, all-night lovemaking session.” In actual fact, “Diana” was not aware of her participation in the “love sandwich” until she regained consciousness later that evening.
- - - -
In the letter “And Wifey Makes Three,” the letter writer stated: “My wife was eager to engage in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.” The sentence should read: “My wife was disgusted, repulsed, and, in every imaginable way, opposed to the thought of engaging in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.” Nor did the wife “wildly undulate” while seated on the face of the babysitter, or “moan in unending pleasure” as she watched her “superstud” of a husband give the babysitter “a good seeing-to.” The letter writer also doesn’t fight crime on the weekends from the confines of a secret underground lair.
- - - -
In the letter “Calling Dr. Love,” it was suggested that the letter writer’s “throbbing member was purple with pulsating lust” until if found release in “the warm, wet mouth of an off-duty nurse in a hospital supply closet.” The actual cause of said member’s throbbing and discolored state was an unfortunate softball-related accident that landed him the in the hospital’s emergency room. He is currently recovering from his injuries while facing harassment charges from several nurses and staff janitors.
- - - -
Penthouse Forum regrets these errors.
- - - -
In the letter “Three-Way Freeway,” it was implied that “Diana” begged for the opportunity to participate in sexual relations with her roommate and her roommate’s boyfriend after accidentally walking in on their “sweaty, all-night lovemaking session.” In actual fact, “Diana” was not aware of her participation in the “love sandwich” until she regained consciousness later that evening.
- - - -
In the letter “And Wifey Makes Three,” the letter writer stated: “My wife was eager to engage in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.” The sentence should read: “My wife was disgusted, repulsed, and, in every imaginable way, opposed to the thought of engaging in a threesome with me and our incredibly hot 19-year-old babysitter.” Nor did the wife “wildly undulate” while seated on the face of the babysitter, or “moan in unending pleasure” as she watched her “superstud” of a husband give the babysitter “a good seeing-to.” The letter writer also doesn’t fight crime on the weekends from the confines of a secret underground lair.
- - - -
In the letter “Calling Dr. Love,” it was suggested that the letter writer’s “throbbing member was purple with pulsating lust” until if found release in “the warm, wet mouth of an off-duty nurse in a hospital supply closet.” The actual cause of said member’s throbbing and discolored state was an unfortunate softball-related accident that landed him the in the hospital’s emergency room. He is currently recovering from his injuries while facing harassment charges from several nurses and staff janitors.
- - - -
Penthouse Forum regrets these errors.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Things you don't want to hear your Top say when you are naked and tied up . . .
1: "Um, I think I have another key around here somewhere..."
2: "Oops."
3: "Um. You didn't really need that, did you?"
4: "Which end of this thing am I supposed to put in there?"
5: "Don't worry. I'm sure there's a locksmith somewhere that's open at 2AM..."
6: "I promised not to do any permanent damage - but you know, hair grows back."
7: "Oops. I thought that was the lube."
8: "Uh oh. If that's the KY tube, what did I just put up your....."
9: "Did I mention we're on camera and this is going on my interactive website?"
10 "Safeword? Um, what's a safeword?"
11 "And this is my German Shepherd, Ralph. I know you'll just love Ralph."
12 "Oh fuck. You can untie yourself from up there, right?"
13 "Oh shit. You do know CPR, don't you?"
14 "Heh heh heh. You didn't tell anybody else you were coming here, did you?"
15 "I do too know what I'm doing. I've read five whole Gor novels!"
16 "Now, where DID I put that extra attachment for the chainsaw?"
17 "Uh oh. If this is the tube of Superglue, where's the KY?"
18 "Did I ever mention that little fantasy I have about the tennis balls?"
19 "Lie very, very still and keep your body temperature low. It turns me on."
20 "Oh, um, hello, Officer."
21 "My real name? It's Bates. By the way, I'd like you to meet Mother."
22 "No, really. Trust me. I saw this work in a movie once."
23 "You said you could service my pussy.....c'mere, Fluffy."
24 "You like my straitjacket? Cool; I'm glad they let me keep it."
25 "Phn'glui mgwlnath Cthulu R'lyeh."
26 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Huitzilopochtli, didn't I?"
27 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Kali-Ma, didn't I?"
28 "Oh mighty Azathoth, accept this sacrifice I offer to You...."
29 "I'm sorry. Are the voices in my head bothering you?"
30 "Groovy. This crop leaves colored trails in the air when I swing it."
31 "Well golly gee! This is more fun than pullin' the wings off-a butterflies!"
32 "Dang it, this is more fun than settin' cats on fire!"
33 "You don't need a safeword; I'm psychic. My spirit guides tell me what to do."
34 "You don't need a safeword; it's groovy. I'll just watch your mood ring."
35 "Oh, um, hi Mom. We were just, um, uh....."
36 "I'm not crazy. Yes I am. Shut up, all of you."
37 "Um, I forgot - which one of us was supposed to be the dom?"
38 "Heh heh. Look, Beavis, a tied up naked chick. Now what do we do?"
39 "I'm not really a mad scientist. I just want to see what happens."
40 "I promised no permanent marks, but I bet I can sew that back on."
41 "You don't need a safeword; I'm a True Master. I've read ALL the Gor books!"
42 "You don't need safewords; I'm a True Mistress. I have WEEKS of experience."
43 "I don't use safewords; I'm Betazoid. I look human so They won't get me. Shh."
44 "Uh oh. I think it's stuck there."
45 "I always keep the speculum in the freezer. It's more fun that way."
46 "If it doesn't fit, it just needs more Crisco. Where did I put that football?"
47 "Don't worry if your hands go numb. You won't be needing those."
48 "Did I mention my crucifixion fetish? Now, where did I put those nails..."
49 "No one understands me. That's why I killed her."
50 "Bye. I'm taking off for the weekend. Isn't suspension bondage fun?"
51 "Oops. It escaped. I think I see it slithering off in the corner."
52 "Darn it, where DID my pet tarantula get to?"
2: "Oops."
3: "Um. You didn't really need that, did you?"
4: "Which end of this thing am I supposed to put in there?"
5: "Don't worry. I'm sure there's a locksmith somewhere that's open at 2AM..."
6: "I promised not to do any permanent damage - but you know, hair grows back."
7: "Oops. I thought that was the lube."
8: "Uh oh. If that's the KY tube, what did I just put up your....."
9: "Did I mention we're on camera and this is going on my interactive website?"
10 "Safeword? Um, what's a safeword?"
11 "And this is my German Shepherd, Ralph. I know you'll just love Ralph."
12 "Oh fuck. You can untie yourself from up there, right?"
13 "Oh shit. You do know CPR, don't you?"
14 "Heh heh heh. You didn't tell anybody else you were coming here, did you?"
15 "I do too know what I'm doing. I've read five whole Gor novels!"
16 "Now, where DID I put that extra attachment for the chainsaw?"
17 "Uh oh. If this is the tube of Superglue, where's the KY?"
18 "Did I ever mention that little fantasy I have about the tennis balls?"
19 "Lie very, very still and keep your body temperature low. It turns me on."
20 "Oh, um, hello, Officer."
21 "My real name? It's Bates. By the way, I'd like you to meet Mother."
22 "No, really. Trust me. I saw this work in a movie once."
23 "You said you could service my pussy.....c'mere, Fluffy."
24 "You like my straitjacket? Cool; I'm glad they let me keep it."
25 "Phn'glui mgwlnath Cthulu R'lyeh."
26 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Huitzilopochtli, didn't I?"
27 "I did mention I was a devout worshipper of Kali-Ma, didn't I?"
28 "Oh mighty Azathoth, accept this sacrifice I offer to You...."
29 "I'm sorry. Are the voices in my head bothering you?"
30 "Groovy. This crop leaves colored trails in the air when I swing it."
31 "Well golly gee! This is more fun than pullin' the wings off-a butterflies!"
32 "Dang it, this is more fun than settin' cats on fire!"
33 "You don't need a safeword; I'm psychic. My spirit guides tell me what to do."
34 "You don't need a safeword; it's groovy. I'll just watch your mood ring."
35 "Oh, um, hi Mom. We were just, um, uh....."
36 "I'm not crazy. Yes I am. Shut up, all of you."
37 "Um, I forgot - which one of us was supposed to be the dom?"
38 "Heh heh. Look, Beavis, a tied up naked chick. Now what do we do?"
39 "I'm not really a mad scientist. I just want to see what happens."
40 "I promised no permanent marks, but I bet I can sew that back on."
41 "You don't need a safeword; I'm a True Master. I've read ALL the Gor books!"
42 "You don't need safewords; I'm a True Mistress. I have WEEKS of experience."
43 "I don't use safewords; I'm Betazoid. I look human so They won't get me. Shh."
44 "Uh oh. I think it's stuck there."
45 "I always keep the speculum in the freezer. It's more fun that way."
46 "If it doesn't fit, it just needs more Crisco. Where did I put that football?"
47 "Don't worry if your hands go numb. You won't be needing those."
48 "Did I mention my crucifixion fetish? Now, where did I put those nails..."
49 "No one understands me. That's why I killed her."
50 "Bye. I'm taking off for the weekend. Isn't suspension bondage fun?"
51 "Oops. It escaped. I think I see it slithering off in the corner."
52 "Darn it, where DID my pet tarantula get to?"
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
It's a little late for our election but....
Obama and McCain Condoms.
NEW YORK - An entrepreneur has decided to have fun with the U.S. presidential campaign by marketing condoms featuring images of the candidates, Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain. Benjamin Sherman, who created the company Practice Safe Policy, says the Obama condom carries the slogan "Use With Good Judgment."
Read the whole thing.
No word on whether the Obama ones are bigger.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
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